Mason jars with pink lemonade and fresh lemons. My sweet bridesmaids did this for my extra girly bridal shower: {emmaline bride}

Mason jar with a floating candle. Perfect decor for a summer evening wedding outside: {oh lovely day}

Mason jars with beautiful lavender crape myrtle blooms. What a cute and simple centerpiece for a wedding or shower: {secret garden cottage}

I love this! Mason jars used as lanterns: {onewed}

Use mason jars for in home decor! These mason jars are sitting on top of a fireplace mantel with fresh flowers: {yummy mummy}

Have you used Mason jars for your Southern event or as simple decor around your home? Tell me!!

xoxo Shan

A couple weeks ago I watched my best friend accomplish a goal (or even a dream) he made for himself. When I first met him as a cool college kid he said, “I want to be a lawyer.” At that moment in time, it really didn’t mean anything to me. But over time I watched this ‘cool college kid’  transform into a man. I watched him work so hard and put in so much effort to make this dream a reality. And though graduating from one of the best law schools in the country is just one small accomplishment in his life journey, it resignated with me intensely. It inspired me. Though I stood beside him on his entire journey, watching the good days, the bad days, the difficult days, the exhausting days; watching him walk across that stage inspired me in a way that nothing else has. It made me question my choices and my journey. It made me want more… want to do more… want to make my dreams a reality.

What inspires you? What are you doing to make your dreams a reality? These are the questions I ask myself. As trite as this may sound, we truly can do whatever we want to do in this life journey. So run along and make it happen! It won’t come overnight… it won’t be easy… but if it’s truly your dream, you’ll be willing to work hard enough to make it happen.

xoxo SL

Alfred Eisenstaedt’s iconic image of a kissing couple in Times Square on V-J Day, 1945

Searching for a good man in this society is quite the challenge, which is why a woman must have  a strategy for where to attract men. Location is so important! Have you ever questioned why you keep dating the same ‘type’ of man over and over? Ever wondered why you can’t seem to find a good guy? You might be looking for Mr. Right in a place that is flooded with Mr. Right-Now, or even worse, Mr. Completely-Wrong.

So many women head to the club or bar in hopes of finding a good guy. And sure, a good guy might be there, but if he is there I’m sure he isn’t at the club in hopes of finding a lasting and meaningful relationship. Do you truly believe he is going to the club to have a mature conversation? He’s probably looking for Ms. Just-For-Tonight if he’s looking for anything at all. Let’s think about the club for just a bit… hot room, normally small, lots of women in sexy and extremely tight, form fitting dresses, alcohol running through a lot of veins in the room, and women shaking their goodies. I’m absolutely sure a good guy is there looking for his future long-term girlfriend. Right.

Is the club or bar even an environment that allows for a respectable and dignified conversation? Probably not. You can barely hear each other, he’s screaming in your hear, and all you have to judge him on is his looks. Unfortunately, we cannot look at all men and decipher between the ‘waste of time’ men and the ‘relationship quality men.’ (Plus – It seems like the ultra sexy men who are super trendy and drop dead gorgeous tend to be jerks! Not all… just… some.)

Go to the club or bar to have fun with your friends. This is not the place to find Mr. Right. If you’re interested in finding a good guy, hang out in places a good guy would be. Put yourself in a place that allows for a respectable and dignified conversation. Having a mature conversation prior to giving some random man your number will help you to stop wasting your time with ‘waste of time’ men.

Places to meet a good man or woman:

church (Don’t go here for the sole purpose of looking for a man!)

the gym

bookstore

dog park

coffee shop

airport

weddings

grocery store

college

graduate school

work (I suggest this with caution!)

mutual friends

social & volunteer organizations

*Most importantly, allow the man to chase you. More on this in a little…

Where do you think the best place to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right is? Tell me in the comment box!

xoxo

*image taken from google*

Relationships can start off amazing. You’re on cloud nine. The fireworks are going off and you feel like this breathtaking moment will last forever. But, it doesn’t. Slowly but surely the fireworks stop, the stars fade, and you have definitely landed back on earth from cloud nine. Sure relationships go through good times and bad. Both the good and bad times strengthen your bond and deepen your love for one another. Good relationships require hard work; they are never easy. When you and your significant other work together to build a solid foundation, and continue that effort to allow your relationship to grow and prosper, you will experience true love and happiness. No matter what, you should never stop working on your relationship. Who says you can’t be in love forever?

Don’t allow life to interfere with special moments in your relationship. Here are some ways to keep your relationship happy.

Talk – Talk about Everything! Communication is vital in any healthy relationship. You must communicate your thoughts, feelings, and ideas. But don’t focus on just these things! Take time to talk about your day, tell each other a story, talk about your passions. Bring your significant other closer to you by sharing everything.

Take a walk - Talking a walk on a warm summer evening can be therapeutic to your relationship. This is a time when you can forget about everything else in life and just enjoy being with one another. Breath in the fresh air. Release all your stress. Walking is a benefit to your health and your relationship.

Always have date night – Plan a time where you will go out, just the two of you, and do something special. Go to the movies, go out to eat at a new restaurant, get ice-cream, go roller skating, ride go-carts, go bowling, watch the planes take off at the airport, ride a hot air balloon, visit the aquarium or the zoo. Do anything outside of the house! Spending quality time is important as your relationship continues to grow.

Hold hands – Holding hands is a simple way to show your affection toward each other.

Have time apart – Spending all of your time together will cause you to feel suffocated. Spending time apart from each other is just as important as spending time together. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Give yourself some breathing room… being under your significant other 24/7 will cause your relationship to make a fast plummet.

Kiss – Remind your significant other how much you love them by kissing them. Make it romantic!

Leave a sticky note for them to find – This is such a simple, sweet, and romantic way to remind your significant other how much you love them. Writing a simple note such as, “I love you,” or “I can’t wait to see you later,” can be so meaningful. Guys take note on this one, women love words.

Be silly together – We’re adults and most of us probably have to be serious all day at work! You’re never too old to act silly. Tell each other jokes and laugh together.

Tell her/him everything you love about her/him – Words (followed up by action) are so powerful. Take time to tell your significant other why you love them. Tell them why you chose them. Tell them how amazing you think they are. Why not?

Experience new things together – Sharing new experiences together will bring you so much closer! Do something together that is new for both of you.

Dream together – Talk about your hopes and dreams together. Create dreams as one.

Respect each other - You should always respect each other. How can anyone be happy in a relationship where they feel disrespected? Be mindful of the things you do and say to each other, and more importantly, how you say things to each other. If you love them, you will respect them.

Say you’re sorry – Sometimes you just have to swallow your pride and apologize. Sometimes it really doesn’t matter who is right or wrong, just apologize for the sake of your relationship. Never allow your fights to continue unnecessarily. Just say sorry…

Pray for each other – God should be the third one in your relationship. Pray for your significant other. Pray for your relationship. When you allow God to work in your life and in your relationship you will reap great rewards.

What do you think? How do you keep your relationship happy?

If he doesn’t call you…

If the man doesn’t call you he probably does not want to date you. Don’t get all emotional and take it personal either. There is someone for everyone, but everyone is not for you and you are not for everyone either. When a man is interested in you he will call you. He’ll want to speak with you and get to know you more. Wouldn’t you call someone you were interested in? Probably. Would you call someone you weren’t interested in? Probably not.

He makes excuses for his behavior…

You’re wondering why he can’t hang out with you anymore and he has some excuse. You’re wondering why he doesn’t text you as much anymore and he has some excuse. Men don’t want to hurt a woman’s feelings intentionally (at least I hope not). Men try to give women hints that they are not interested, but women choose to ignore them. These hints normally include giving some stupid excuse for their behavior. We all know people are literally attached to their cell phones. We are so attached you would think it’s nailed to our hands. How long does it take you to send a text message? Mmmm… Maybe 10 seconds. If he can’t text you back, or even text you at all, he doesn’t want to! And if he doesn’t want to communicate with you, why do you want him? He’s clearly showing you that he isn’t interested but you’re having trouble getting the point.

People have time for whatever they want to have time for. This is a fact! It’s all about priorities. If he was interested in you, you would be a priority. Sometimes women can be so blinded that they cannot see the hints men are dropping them.

The logic is very simple. If he was interested you wouldn’t be confused. When he’s ready to date you, he will.

P.S. If the man isn’t taking it seriously then you shouldn’t either. Don’t make it something it isn’t. This will leave you hurt, disappointed, and confused.

1. You or your partner feel the need to cheat. Or you suspect cheating.

If cheating is an active part of your relationship then you don’t have a monogamous relationship. If you feel the need to cheat, that means your needs are not being met in the relationship. Once you begin to look outside of your relationship to fulfill your needs, what’s the point of being in the relationship at all? People are in relationships because they are getting something positive from it, whether it’s love, admiration, empathy, support, understanding, like-mindedness, or something else. When your desires and needs are no longer being met in your relationship, you are settling! You are settling for something you don’t want because you are holding on to some vision in your head that is not a reality for you and your partner. No one should settle.

If you suspect your partner is cheating as well, this is definitely a sign that you should consider moving on. Cheating is a very selfish thing to do, which proves that person is not ready for a monogamous relationship. When people are ready for monogamy, they are monogamous. You don’t have to persuade them into it. It’s just that simple.

2. Lack of trust and honesty within the relationship.

Trust and honesty are the foundation of any healthy relationship. When the relationship is not built upon trust and honesty, it will eventually fall apart. No house can be built without a solid foundation. The same goes for a healthy relationship. When there is no trust and honesty you are going to question every single thing your partner does and says. You will waste so much time living in a paranoid state that you won’t be able to relax and enjoy the relationship.

3. You put more effort into the relationship than your partner.

Relationships are about equal effort and compromise. If you are doing everything to ensure the relationship stays in tact while your partner does nothing, you are doing too much. If you are doing something that your partner wouldn’t be willing to do, you are doing too much. If you make all the phone calls, pay for all the dates, initiate any and everything, then you are doing way too much! You deserve to be with someone who gives the same effort you do. If both people are not giving the same effort, someone is being taken advantage of. Is it you?

If your partner does things with/for their friends that they would never do with/for you, this is also a problem.

4. When you envision a life long partner, your current partner displays few to none of those qualities.

Choosing a life long partner should involve an immense amount of thought and careful consideration of many things. Anyone considering a long term relationship in their future should identify the qualities they want in their partner. These are the same qualities you should look for in the people you date. Otherwise, you’re just wasting time. If you want a certain type of partner, but everyone you date is the opposite, you need to analyze why you date people who are not helping you get the ultimate relationship you envision. No partner is perfect when you first start dating. As people mature they evolve and become better partners. But this does not mean people will all of a sudden become this person you’ve envisioned. The basic habits must be in place already. If you are dating someone who does not exemplify the partner you envision, it’s probably time to move on.

5. Your conversations lack substance.

Once upon a time your conversations were exciting and fulfilling. You confided in each other sharing your hopes, dreams, and fears. Now your conversations are about nothing. As you, your partner, and your relationship continue to evolve you should never lose things to talk about. When your conversations revert to conversations of only gossip, other people, and what you did today, there is no substance. Keep in mind… when you get old and you can’t do much anymore, your conversation will be all you have.

6. The arguments and fights occur more often than laughter.

The bad times should never outweigh the good times! Relationships go up and down, through good times and bad. That’s just how life works. But when all you do is fight and argue, you have a major communication problem. More than likely there are some underlying issues you and your partner have yet to resolve as a couple, which is why all you can do now is fight. Constant arguing shows an inability to communicate effectively when speaking normally. As a couple you should identify the underlying issues causing you to fight constantly. If those underlying issues are simply things that cannot be resolved, it might be time to move on. Why stay in a relationship when you find yourself crying more than laughing? That doesn’t seem fun to me.

7. The people you love and trust are telling you to move on.

Your family and close friends want what is best for you. Sometimes when people believe they are in love their thoughts are clouded thus impacting their judgement of people and relationships. At times it is hard to make clear decisions or even see the truth that is right in front of you. It is a huge red flag when your family and friends do not approve of the person you are dating. If you go to the people you trust to talk about your partner and they all suggest to you that it’s simply time to move on, or you deserve better, or they question why you are still dating him/her…. it’s probably time to move on. Other people shouldn’t care more about your happiness than you care about your happiness. Wake up and smell the coffee… it just might be time to let it go. Trust me, this can be the best decision you ever made.

It’s okay if you have to break up. Every relationship is not meant to last forever. Some relationships are intended for a season, providing us with an opportunity to learn about ourselves. Through every relationship we can learn something and be better prepared for the next. If you are unhappy and multiple signs I mentioned are present in your relationship you should consider moving on. It might seem scary… but breaking up can be a breakthrough for you.

I wonder how many people would get in the car… turn the music on… roll down the windows to feel the warm summer air playing in their hair… press the gas to drive across country with no map, no GPS, nothing. Just you and the road. Maybe you’ll get there eventually. Maybe you won’t. Maybe you don’t even know where you are going yet.

So often I hear people make comments about this wonderful life they want to live. People want to have it all. “All” can be defined so differently from person to person, but some things seem to be laced in everyone’s vision of life. The money, the house, the trips, the labels, the career, and for some, the family. Even with this immense desire to live this life we have constructed in our minds, people seem to lack a roadmap to get to the place they ‘say’ they want to be.

Some already know what they want, while others have no idea. Some people know what they want, but have not initiated the thought process of how to get there. Others could care less, for they will get there whenever and however they do. This is what makes us so uniquely different. All of our paths will vary in happiness, prosperity, health, and experiences. So don’t waste time judging the choices of others. We all have a different journey. More importantly, don’t place your desires and choices upon others. What you may want for your life may not be the same things others want for their life. If so, respect each others differences. You may want to end up in the same place, but you’d rather take different streets to get there. Again, this is what makes us so uniquely different. Respect differences.

My generation is at the forefront of this life journey. Many of my peers are making a transition from kid to adult. It hits you hard and fast. One thing I’ve learned, is having a plan will allow you to reap great rewards, while wandering around in the streets with no idea of where you are going, seems to slow your journey down. Ultimately, delaying your own happiness. This seems like the perfect place for a profound proverb. “You reap what you sow.” Take it how you want.

A very good friend of mine always says, “Start making plans now for what you want to have 10 years from now.” I couldn’t agree with this statement more. I truly believe when you know what you want, the smartest thing you can do is develop your plan to get what you want. How can you say you truly want this vision of life you’ve created in your mind, yet you are doing nothing to get it?

Have a plan. Think about what you want out of life and make steps toward that. Otherwise you’re just wasting time… and life.

Don’t get it mixed up – everything never works perfectly according to your plan. (Though they do work perfectly according to His plan).

In any fire, I’d rather have a plan than try to create one in the midst of a crisis.

That feeling of betrayal, hurt, and deception is one that is unforgettable. Learning how to trust again after such pain is a difficult journey. Understand that a journey toward trust will not only be long, but it will be complicated. Never jump from one relationship to another. This only adds fuel to the fire. After your trust has been shattered, take time to be by yourself. You need nothing more than time to heal emotionally and mentally.

When beginning a new relationship after experiencing such pain, it is imperative that we do not bring our baggage into this new relationship. One thing women really have to accept is just because one man cheated on you does not mean all men will deceive you and cheat on you. This is so hard for women to truly believe and accept because so many of us have been hurt repeatedly by different men, and so have many of our friends. However, we have to truly learn to move on from a situation and prepare ourselves for a new love. Have faith! There are good men in the world. You just have to know where to look and how to look.

Through every experience we should seek wisdom. When we find ourselves in a position where our trust has been shattered, we have to learn from that situation and move on. Always take your wisdom, but leave the baggage. Analyze the relationship to see where the miscommunication came from.

If you find yourself in a new relationship, yet you are constantly paranoid, you are not ready for that new relationship. There are still internal issues you need to work out by yourself. The last thing you want to do is blame a new man for problems someone else created. Loving in a state of paranoia is not a true experience of love, nor is it an enjoyable experience.

Deciding to love again is a risk. It is a choice that should be made cautiously and without speed. Sure you might get hurt again but you also may be blessed enough to find the one man who will not deceive you and shatter your trust. Have faith that God will provide you with the right man if you ask and allow him to work in your life.

Recognize the type of man you are dating. Is he the type of man who is ready for a monogamous relationship? There is nothing you can do to make him be trustworthy. This is an internal decision a man makes on his own, for his own reasons, whenever he wants. Understand this, and it will help you when choosing who to date. If you really want to date someone who is trustworthy, you have to develop the ability to decipher between men who are trustworthy and men who are not, men who are ready for monogamy and men who are not. Like I said earlier, this is his choice. No matter how wonderful and great you are, this will not make him trustworthy. So stop thinking that. If you value trust, honesty, and monogamy, date someone who feels the same way!

Trust is something that develops and strengthens over time. It doesn’t happen over night. You are going to be scared, but that is what helps you to be more aware in a new relationship. Signs of distrust are always there. You either see them or you choose to ignore them. Sometimes we are blind-sighted, but I believe a sign always exist. Maybe it was just too small to see. Take caution and move slowly. Eventually you will learn to trust again.

Here are a few steps to take:

1. Take it as a lesson learned and move on.
2. Identify your mistakes as well as theirs.
3. Acknowledge that choosing to love again is a risk. Be okay with that.
4. Understand that learning to trust again is a gradual process, not an overnight process.
5. Instill your trust in a trustworthy person. (Easier said than done. I know. But this is just to remind you to reevaluate the type of men you date! Does he want the same thing you want?)

All people are created with varying gifts and talents. We all hold some level of beauty. Not only should you know your gifts and talents, but feel good about them! You are your biggest cheerleader. You can do and accomplish anything you want, but the key is to believe in yourself. Have some faith in yourself! If you don’t believe in yourself, who will? You deserve to do and have whatever you want.

No support from others can compare to the support you give to yourself. At times we make horrible decisions. Looking back, we’d change it in a heartbeat. But does that one bad decision accurately reflect the intentions of our soul? Maybe, maybe not. Our mind is the most powerful thing about us. We must view ourselves in a positive way, otherwise we simply manifest negativity into our lives by believing negative thoughts. Make time to love and appreciate yourself. Tell yourself how great you are at something, anything. If your energy toward yourself is negative, everyone around you can feel it. Don’t waste another day telling yourself how dumb you are or how you can’t do anything right. Focus on one positive thing. Positive thinking will open your mind to a whole new way of living.