Signs That You Should Probably Move On

I think it’s a natural desire for people to want that one special person to be with. This desire is so great that many of us believe we have the “one” when we really do not. Or we force ourself to believe that our relationship is going somewhere when it really is going nowhere. Let’s let go of the wishful thinking and get real with ourselves. Here are a few sings that you should probably move on…

1. You or your partner feel the need to cheat. Or you suspect cheating.

If cheating is an active part of your relationship then you don’t have a monogamous relationship. If you feel the need to cheat, that means your needs are not being met in the relationship. Once you begin to look outside of your relationship to fulfill your needs, what’s the point of being in the relationship at all? People are in relationships because they are getting something positive from it, whether it’s love, admiration, empathy, support, understanding, like-mindedness, or something else. When your desires and needs are no longer being met in your relationship, you are settling! You are settling for something you don’t want because you are holding on to some vision in your head that is not a reality for you and your partner. No one should settle.

If you suspect your partner is cheating as well, this is definitely a sign that you should consider moving on. Cheating is a very selfish thing to do, which proves that person is not ready for a monogamous relationship. When people are ready for monogamy, they are monogamous. You don’t have to persuade them into it. It’s just that simple.

2. Lack of trust and honesty within the relationship.

Trust and honesty are the foundation of any healthy relationship. When the relationship is not built upon trust and honesty, it will eventually fall apart. No house can be built without a solid foundation. The same goes for a healthy relationship. When there is no trust and honesty you are going to question every single thing your partner does and says. You will waste so much time living in a paranoid state that you won’t be able to relax and enjoy the relationship.

3. You put more effort into the relationship than your partner.

Relationships are about equal effort and compromise. If you are doing everything to ensure the relationship stays in tact while your partner does nothing, you are doing too much. If you are doing something that your partner wouldn’t be willing to do, you are doing too much. If you make all the phone calls, pay for all the dates, initiate any and everything, then you are doing way too much! You deserve to be with someone who gives the same effort you do. If both people are not giving the same effort, someone is being taken advantage of. Is it you?

If your partner does things with/for their friends that they would never do with/for you, this is also a problem.

4. When you envision a life long partner, your current partner displays few to none of those qualities.

Choosing a life long partner should involve an immense amount of thought and careful consideration of many things. Anyone considering a long term relationship in their future should identify the qualities they want in their partner. These are the same qualities you should look for in the people you date. Otherwise, you’re just wasting time. If you want a certain type of partner, but everyone you date is the opposite, you need to analyze why you date people who are not helping you get the ultimate relationship you envision. No partner is perfect when you first start dating. As people mature they evolve and become better partners. But this does not mean people will all of a sudden become this person you’ve envisioned. The basic habits must be in place already. If you are dating someone who does not exemplify the partner you envision, it’s probably time to move on.

5. Your conversations lack substance.

Once upon a time your conversations were exciting and fulfilling. You confided in each other sharing your hopes, dreams, and fears. Now your conversations are about nothing. As you, your partner, and your relationship continue to evolve you should never lose things to talk about. When your conversations revert to conversations of only gossip, other people, and what you did today, there is no substance. Keep in mind… when you get old and you can’t do much anymore, your conversation will be all you have.

6. The arguments and fights occur more often than laughter.

The bad times should never outweigh the good times! Relationships go up and down, through good times and bad. That’s just how life works. But when all you do is fight and argue, you have a major communication problem. More than likely there are some underlying issues you and your partner have yet to resolve as a couple, which is why all you can do now is fight. Constant arguing shows an inability to communicate effectively when speaking normally. As a couple you should identify the underlying issues causing you to fight constantly. If those underlying issues are simply things that cannot be resolved, it might be time to move on. Why stay in a relationship when you find yourself crying more than laughing? That doesn’t seem fun to me.

7. The people you love and trust are telling you to move on.

Your family and close friends want what is best for you. Sometimes when people believe they are in love their thoughts are clouded thus impacting their judgement of people and relationships. At times it is hard to make clear decisions or even see the truth that is right in front of you. It is a huge red flag when your family and friends do not approve of the person you are dating. If you go to the people you trust to talk about your partner and they all suggest to you that it’s simply time to move on, or you deserve better, or they question why you are still dating him/her…. it’s probably time to move on. Other people shouldn’t care more about your happiness than you care about your happiness. Wake up and smell the coffee… it just might be time to let it go. Trust me, this can be the best decision you ever made.

It’s okay if you have to break up. Every relationship is not meant to last forever. Some relationships are intended for a season, providing us with an opportunity to learn about ourselves. Through every relationship we can learn something and be better prepared for the next. If you are unhappy and multiple signs I mentioned are present in your relationship you should consider moving on. It might seem scary… but breaking up can be a breakthrough for you.

27 Feb This entry was published on February 27, 2011 at 8:48 PM and is filed under breaking up, cheating, healing, honesty, life, love, men, paranoia, people, plan, relationship problems, relationships, risk, trust, women, yourself. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.